wow what the hell am I doing

so hmmm I kissed a boy and I liked it. but I shouldn't. I am in the worst position ever. he's funny smart hot great in bed...but should so be off limits. he's the first guy that's not mike since valentines day 2006. that's almost 3 yrs. if I was smart I'd run the other way....but I'm not.

yay!

So, I went with my best friend Wayne to see Janet Jackson! OMFG, she was awesome! I am so thankful for my friend Kasey for making me live again. Since Mike leaving this time my self-worth plummeted. She made me get out a week ago, and it reminded me i have friends who care about me. Then Wayne out of the blue called with these tickets, and i went to that. then we met kasey out at sharks and i ran into some friends that i thought i had lost in the final break off. turns out hes being a total douche. I am a little sad too, i was supposed to go see Nigel next weekend but the venue had some issues and closed....no point in going. oh well obviously i wasnt meant to go yet!

Cougars....meow!

So about 3 years ago i met a really sweet kid on myspace...he was 16 at the time so i tried to fix him up with my step daughter. then we stopped talking for quite a while. His dad is a bonafide rockstar, and he is becoming one in is own right. I saw him in august, which made me try to email him....now we are talking again, he's 19 and wants me to come see his next show. i am all set to do it. but i havent heard from him in a few days. hes had several shows so i am letting it slide until friday.

Easy Answers

Toxic relationships....you usually think that they are the love of your life, all you could ever want and more. I have loved Michal Brian Mancuso since I met him. We have been friends for 14 yrs...together for 5 yrs. When we split up, 15 months ago, I wanted to die, he came back during the holidays, and again in june. On August 23, he told me I was the only girl he was seeing and the only one he was sleeping with. Then on August 30th the other shoe dropped he wanted to see someone new. He accidently slipped and told me on Sept 4th he slept with her for the first time....then on Sept 24 shes pregnant...WTF?! She knows after 20 days sure. Mike always comes home, but this time I think its really over for me. I have a chance to move home 800 miles away...to start over. I think I am going to take it. As long as I am within arms length of him I will always take him back. I love him...but I think I am going to take whats behind door number 1...a new life.